Wednesday 16 March 2016

MAN AND CHILD (Aged 22 and 29 respectively)

Here is a man. Capt. Pawan Kumar of the Indian Army. Martyred at the age of 22 in the service of the nation. When he turned 22, he had already put in three years of active service, earned a promotion and was leading a team of soldiers, who were ready to die for the country. Capt. Pawan Kumar led his men against entrenched terrorists and made the supreme sacrifice for the Motherland. There is not a single person in the country who is not proud of him. Capt. Pawan Kumar joined the Army not because he wanted to die for the country. He did so because he wanted to protect his country. He entered the Armed Forces not because it was easily available. He did it through a tough process of selection called the NDA examination - A highly competitive written test, a rigorous physical test and a test of his aptitude. He, of course, knew the risks and dangers of an Army Officer's life. Yet he chose it over easier career options of Engineering, Civil Services or IT.

Here is another man,  err.. a boy. Kanhaiya Kumar. All of 29. Pursuing a PhD in a subsidised education system of the country that Pawan Kumar laid down his life for. Kanhaiya Kumar earns a scholarship of nearly thirty thousand Rupees per month, gets free housing, free medical care and has all the time in the world to profess breaking up of his Motherland. A parasite that he is, he leads a team of equally parasitical "boys and girls" to apologise to a terrorist's soul, who was responsible for slaying Kanhaiya's compatriots. Kanhaiya Kumar does not study "African Studies" (his topic for PhD) because he is even remotely interested in Africa, its history, literature or its people. He is studying it because a seat was available in that department, which paid him a handsome salary-like scholarship for five years of mollycoddling campus life. He did not choose to do a PhD to contribute a great deal to the knowledge of mankind. We will also check out his PhD thesis for original thought it is supposed to contain. He opted for a PhD because he did not get a job with his earlier education. He chose it because he was actually good for nothing else. His academic scores in JNU will prove that once again.

Capt. Pawan Kumar also holds a degree from the JNU. If he had lived to be 29, like Kanhaiya, he would be a Major in the Army, living a life of fulfilment and inspiration. He could still die for the nation as a Major. In fact he would protest if ever he was not sent to the front. He would be commanding a few Captains and a much larger unit of soldiers, each one of whom would look up to him for lessons in grit and gallantry. 

Kanhaiya Kumar would have turned 36 by then and would be pursuing a second PhD in "Gender Discrimination in Angola", raising slogans against the Country and promising to destroy it. He would, however, still be called a simple misguided boy. If Kanhaiya played his cards well, which he seems to be doing, he could become a Professor in the same incestuous system of education and spawn more middle-aged boy-traitors like himself in a never ending chain process. Worse, he could become a politician himself, given his recent display of power over them, to unite against the country. In the worst, though not unimaginable case, Kanhaiya Kumar could become the forerunner of a new ideology, where biting the hand that feeds is fashion.

Sunday 13 March 2016

गाल-सटाऊ चुंबन

उमुआँ .. उमुआँ .. .. 

आपने अक्सर पार्टियों में ऐसी आवाज़ सुनी होगी। अरे ये मैं क्या कह रहा हूँ? आपने कहाँ सुनी होगी? आप तो हिंदी पढ़ रहे हैं? ये आवाज़ें हाई सोसाइटी की पार्टियों में सुनने में आती हैं । क्या कहा आपने? हाई सोसाइटी क्या होती है? हाई सोसाइटी का हिंदी में कोई अर्थ या पर्यायवाची शब्द नहीं होता। अरे भाई साहब, हिंदी में तो हाई सोसाइटी होती ही नहीं|

अरे मैंने भी कहाँ सुनी थीं ऐसी आवाज़ें, मानों कोई बिल्ली अपनी सहेली से सालों बाद मिल रही हो। वो तो एक बड़े उद्योगपति की पार्टियां आजकल टीवी पर दिखाई जा रही हैं, उसी मैं मैंने सुना। आप भी वॉल्यूम ऊँचा करके ध्यान से सुनेंगे तो आपको सुनाई देंगी। उन्ही उद्योगपति, मच्छीमार हवाईजहाज वाले या बियरवाले दढ़ियल साहब की पार्टियों की बात कर रहा हूँ, जो करोड़ों लेकर फुर्र हो गए| इन पार्टियों में गाल से गाल सटा कर एक दूसरे के कान में हौले से हवा छोड़ते हैं और कहते है, "उमुआँ .. उमुआँ"। और भी कुछ बोलते होंगे, जैसे, "यूअर प्लेस और माइन?" या, "उस कमीने को देखो, कैसा मिसेज़ शर्मा पर लाइन मार रहा है।"

सुना है कि सरकारी बैंकों और सचिवालयों के अधिकारी भी इन हाई सोसाइटी पार्टियों में शरीक होते थे। क्या वे भी उमुआँ .. उमुआँ करते थे? अब कंडक्ट रूल्स में उमुआँ .. उमुआँ करना मना तो नहीं है? सो करते होंगे, मेरी बला से। लेकिन एक उमुआँ पर नौ हज़ार करोड़ न्यौछावर कर दें, ये भी कोई बात हुई। मैं तो ऐसे गालसटाऊ नाटक के पाँच रुपये भी न दूँ। कान में हवा जाने से मेरी तो फुरफुरी छूट जाए। और बेचारा आम करदाता जो फ़िल्मी मैगज़ीन में उन सुंदरियों की तस्वीरें निहार कर ही अपने को निहाल समझता है - उमुआँ तो एक दिवास्वप्न सा ही रह जाता है। नौ हज़ार करोड़ हालाँकि उसी की कमाई के जाते हैं|

आपसे फिर मुखातिब होउँगा। तब तक के लिए उमुआँ .. उमुआँ|

एंड टेक केयर!